Sunday, September 4, 2011

Screen Door Locks

Yes, friends and fellow blogsters I have joined another linky.

If you are like D you would now be asking me "Why oh why do you write so much?"
And I would reply "because it makes me happy and I like linkies".

SooooOOOOooo........ I love D (obviously as the wedding is in like a MONTH!) but the guy needs at LEAST 12 hours of sleep and I am SO NOT kidding. In the 3 years we've been together he has never gotten up with the Monster. 10am is early and real rough for him.
Note: D, when you read this, I am not complaining. I know this is simply an aspect of who you are. Not all people need only 5 hours of sleep. I don't mind...even though I like to make fun of you and simply cause it is so easy to make fun of. I like my morning Monster time. I do.

But, the Monster also has some mad escape artist skills.
The contraptions that he has invented in order to escape into the front yard are impressive.
Never has he tried to break into the fenced in back-yard... of course.
Only the dangerous side of the house is an acceptable plan of action.

So, today I am thankful for screen door locks.
or, so I thought...

Kate is doing dishes, watching the crepes, having a glass of ice tea...

Kate says to no one: "I know that sound".
brain thingy Kate says: "it's the screen door you idiot".
Kate again says to no one: "SHIT"!

Run to the door and watch as the Monster runs straight down the drive towards the street.
This is also the moment that I realize a dog/cat/alien/wild animal has gotten into the garbage so I will now spend the next hour picking it up. UGH and double merde.

As I grab him and put him in time out brain thingy Kate says "seeee why buying a house in the middle of no where was a grand idea"?

Kate says to no one: "Thank you brain thingy".

So, dear ole sweet screen door lock.... I once loved you and was ever so grateful for you but you and you services either need to move farther up the door or I will have to duct tape my child to a chair (no Monsters were hurt in the making of this blog).

"I look cute but I can escape anytime I want. Bwahahahaha".


Mrs. Melch said...

We have a hook at our eye-level to keep the munchkins out of our office--a very inexpensive, simple, & so far-effective solution.

Mommy R. said...

lol!!! i have a feeling Owen is gonna be an escape artist like this!!! :)

Elsa said...

Yep, Mimi can get outside too. She just unlocks the door and leaves (only to the porch though, not the road), it's very frustrating. Ali put these child safety things on the doors so she can't turn them. Oh my gosh does that make her mad. She'll yell, "ALI!!! ALIII!!!!!" over and over in pure frustration because the door won't open. haha

And yes, she calls her dad by his first name. She'll call him, "dada" or, "daddy" but, "Ali" is the most popular.

Bobbi said...

Oh man that is terrifying. I had a lock on Meike's door at night for a while because I was afraid she'd get out and fall down the stairs while we were asleep. Would NOT want to wake up to that. Now it's just a useful threatening device for completely unrelated offenses (aka "Stop licking Luke or we're going to put 'The Lock' on your door tonight).

Do they have magic screen door safety lock devices? We have special ones for our doors but don't use them. I've sufficiently terrified Meike of being stolen by strangers if she goes outside by herself.