Monday, August 8, 2011

Top 5

Top 5 Greatest Moments I Can Think of That I Love:

So on any varying moment, at any time of the day, a person's Top 5 moments change (as well they should). But, I was thinking today while driving in STUPID Austin traffic to see a client that it is only 12 weeks until my wedding.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ok, better now. Don't get me wrong...I am excited (as in 5yo Kate is jumping up and down in a Barbie approved dress and brushing her hair and kissing Ken... I mean D). Adult Kate is actually thinking..."How in the name of all things wonderful am I supposed to get all this shit done, raise a kid, hold down a job, make dinner, and not go bonkers???". Too late...I went bonkers I think. My Mom has been a tremendous help but I just know that at 4am on the day of my wedding I will just start hot gluing random things to things and everyone will be covered in fall ribbon. If the Best Man is wearing a pumpkin hot glued to himself please refrain for laughing and also be sure to show me which way is DOWN the aisle and point out which dude I am marrying. Point of story: NEVER PLAN YOUR OWN WEDDING BY YOURSELF. ALONE. Stupid Kate. Stupid, stupid Kate.

Ok so... I thought in light of my stress and yadaddadadadada...I'd think of 5 moments in my life that I love and cherish. (Let us all hope that the wedding ends up being one of them).

1) As all Mom's out there know labor kinda sorta really hurts. Dignity no longer exists. Did I say I changed my mind and wanted to go home? yes. Was my Mommmmmiiieee they only person I wanted? er, yeah. But....... (those dots are the 18 moments of unbelievable, raw, no drugs, screaming pain, that i'll never forget)...became the BEST thing that I've ever been given. My heart literally still swells when I remember that moment. Call me corny but swell is the only word that comes to mind. I thought my heart would explode with love, protection, and utter devotion. Best. Moment. Ever.

2) After very many rough days with a Grammie that was much more ill than anyone seemed to pay mind to I walked into the hospital room with her wedding album. Days of pain, frustration, tears, more frustration, organization, and family drama dissolved as I sat (reading a cooking magazine ..duh) and listening to her tell stories about the wedding and all the members of the wedding party.As usual, she charmed all the nurses and smiled and laughed and, I believe felt very loved. I think it had been awhile since someone had made her feel important and special. She was always so proud of me and I sat there, in a dress she insisted on reminding everyone that I made, and asked if I was seeign someone. I told her all about D and my great love for him. "He's the one Grammie", I said. "He'll take care of me". I wish at times I hadn't said that. As though her knowing that I was loved and cared for allowed her to let go but I know that is truly selfish. She let go to be with the ones that she loves elsewhere. That day in the hospital with her just before they discharged her is, despite the pain we were all feeling, a wonderful memory. Her picture sits on my desk of her and I together at about age 14 and I miss her voice, and smile, and cackle but I have memories and stories to tell the next generations.

3) The story goes like this: It was 9.9 million degrees and I was rollering the paint in the living room of the house that this single Mom just managed to OWN. I hadn't turned on the utilities yet, as the Monster and I were only working on the house from about 5pm till 8pm. The Monster was across the room in the kitchen area, he had yet to say a "true" Mommy (all moms out there know what I mean), and he hadn't walked yet (walking from the couch to the loveseat to the next sturdy structure doesn't count). As both the sweat and the paint are dripping down my face I hear "MOMMA!", I look to my right, and watch as that Monster that stole my heart walks over to me (ok so, it was sideways, wobbly walking but I'll never forget it).

4) On my 13th birthday my Mom and Dad grilled my brother and I steaks (yes, I ate steak then). We were getting to the point in our relationship of not being best friends. Ok ok, I was 13 and a total bitch but I remember that evening so very well. Max and I have always been close and my parents have always made a BIG DEAL over our birthdays so it was a wonderful June evening. After steak and corn and mashed potaotes (can ya tell my Dad cooked) we went upstairs with oke-doke popcorn and a movie on my little TV that I was so awesomely allowed to have in my room. I am sure I made Max watch Pride and Prejudice or Dirty Dancing but to this day I'd prefer to spend my birthday with my favorite brother ever. I also had one of those clear phones in my room. It was awesome. I was cool. And I had my own bathroom. On a side note, I have no memory of what I was given as gifts that year but I remember my Dad with the video camera, my brother and I on stools at the table, the ceiling fan doing it's best to dull the June heat, and laughing with my really goofy (sorry Max but you were) brother at the kitchen table.

5) Ok so this is a very selfish and corny moment but I will, quite literally, never forget being slightly intoxicated with my 3 best friends in College @ Indiana University walking down Kirkwood in the middle of the night. Sam and I lived just off the downtown area and I was so very proud of our apartment. Anthony and Kevin were our best friends and pretty much did everything together (as in Anthony went on our honeymoon with us and met us at the airport when we got back from Kenya and. Kevin and Sam have known each other since Elementary school and watched over me all the time). I have no idea why this memory over all of the ones that the four of us have sticks with me but it does. I was skipping and jumping and giggling and thinking how lucky I was to have these 3 men as my best friends. Life has torn us apart and we've all chosen different paths but I thank them for the happiness and fun that we had. Football games, chinese pizza (really Kev? Chinese pizza), sledding, the VID, Margarita Mondays, the time Kev nearly killed me in the movie theatre parking lot, donut hamburgers, and Chemistry, physics, the MCATS, and all that comes with College.

I do love you guys even though I've lost you all.

And congrats on the marriage Anthony. I know you two will be so happy together..also...I am still NOT a hippy. :)

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