k8

Ok, so I am well aware that this is a really silly country song.
(Even though I ADORE Reba)...sorry Dad.
but...
I went through something many years ago that I am just now facing.
I know the song was written to be about domestic violence which isn't my issue but the lyrics pertain to what I experienced.

I'd like to say thank you to my Dad, Mom, Max, and most especially, D, who gave me the strength, trust, and sense of safety to open up.

Oddly enough, the blog has also been a diary of sorts and has helped me to face things about myself that need changed and addressed as well as working through my hurt and issues.

I don't feel special in any way.
I know that each and every person that reads this post and follows my blog has their own set of issues, baggage, and pain.
I hope that I am, in some way, as helpful to you as ya'll have been to me.
and yes, I just said ya'll.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing