Thursday, March 31, 2011

50 Day Challenge

50 Day Challenge:
A Picture of Something You Miss

I obviously miss my entire family.
For those of you that follow me on FB as well, cause, clearly I am so cool that you must read my blog AND my FB, I have been having a hard time with changing my name upon marriage.
Just to fill ya in...
It's not out of lack of respect for D or my desire to compromise and join together as one family buuuut as one of my friends pointed out "a last name does not a family make".
I understand that this tradition is important to D and he has done a lot of things, in regards to giving me a Catholic wedding, that are against his principals, so I felt obligated to give him this.
The more I thought about not being a Mullen though, the more I greatly disliked the idea.
That isn't to say that someday I won't be ready to change but right now...
I am a Mullen.
I have been for my entire life.
I am incredibly close to my family and want to have the same last name as my son.
I hyphenated with my first marriage and so I probably have some residual anger from that experience. I very much felt that I lost "Kate" during that marriage. Maybe subconsciously I've associated that with the name change.
Who knows.
I'll stop rambling now.

I love the angle on this picture.
And I miss my family.
They live waaaaay to far away.

I also miss that Little boy there.
Where is that chubby tummy?
Those bouncy things called legs?
and that spikey red hair?

I miss my Grammie.
As if I haven't talked enough about her I'm gonna go ahead and tell you another Grammie story.
or two or maybe three.
Grams had this really bad habit of playing with the buttons on the remote.
It was almost like a nervous habit and it didn't matter because she'd have the remote not pointing at the TV.
But, every so often she'd forget and in the middle of a movie the channel would change.
I'd screech "GRAMS"! and she'd giggle hysterically.
It became a running inside joke.

I'm pretty sure most of our family hated to be around us.
It was almost like we had a conversation around theirs and no one ever seemed to get what we were talking about.

Another time I was ironing her clothes for her and we got to laughing because I asked her if she left the car in the eggs.
I mean we were laughing so hard that I had to leave the room and tell her not to look at me.
I miss her.
I miss laughing like that.
I hope I can find that happiness with someone else someday.
I have a feeling a relationship like ours is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I never did find the car in the eggs or the eggs in the car for that matter.

I so know that I am officially the only person reading this that is laughing so hard I am about to cry or pee my pants (too much info?).

See that young, innocent, naive girl below?
The one about to drink bloody mary's at 9am?
The one with blue hair?
The one tailgating with her best friends?
The one that hasn't felt the dreadful, earth shattering pain of loss?
The one that still thought she'd be a Doctor?
The one that thought she's grow old with the man she married?
The one that thought she and said soul mate would move to Africa and change the world?
The one that still thought she might actually be able to be a decent fiddle player?
The one with a flat tummy?
The one that could still sleep past 7am?
The one that didn't care about having to pay off those student loans?
The one that had a Momma to do her laundry?

Yeah, I miss her.

If only I had known how hard life can be.
Maybe I would've enjoyed what I had just a little bit more.

On a brighter note, let me just add...

1 comment:

Harris Family said...

Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears!