Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Bad Mood

This is MY shit list, because I am in a bad mood.
If you want to read about happy, dancing elves go to a library and check out a book about happy dancing elves. If you want to listen to K8 humorously complain about random shit then, be my guest, and read on...

a) I hate blah.

Blah can be any of the following:
  • bored, bored, bored. I am NOT meant to be a SAHM (even though I want to be). I literally want to poke my eyes out in boredom.I think that is mostly because being a SAHM means brokedome for k8. I don't understand how women rely on their husbands for money. It drives me crazy. I need that control.

  • dreary. I very much hate this time of the year in Texas. It is dreary for about one month (shut up Northerners). The worst part is that it is 75 degrees and dreary. I need sun.

  • Alone. I am the happiest, friendliest loner you've ever met. I LOVE people and I ADORE kids but I am a Gemini. I need my alone time. It is important to me. I no longer have that.

  • blah can also be scrubbing tubs, sinks, and potties, watching Kathy Lee and that other women, listening to you ipod because you can't handle another round of the meatball song, and realizing that it's 3pm and you aren't at the job you love, but rather still in your jammies which are now covered in Little O's lunch kisses.

  • and it is raining. I hate rain. and snow. and anything between rain and snow.

b) I despise the rudest of rude people.
  • lots of people are rude. All of us are rude at some point, even if by accident or distraction, i get that. But, if you see a 100 lb girl trying to lift a 43 lb wiggling 3yo up and into a shopping cart for the LOVE OF GOD HELP HER OUT! Just FYI. Also, do not ask her to move out of your way and do NOT ask her where she got her shoes because your daughter might like a pair. I am capable of murder. Don't push me.

  • Despite, my current leave of absence from work thanks to points on my license I am very anal about doing the speed limit (read: I have a Monster in the car with me). So, to that lady in the ghetto car on Blake Manor road, nearly running me off the road in order to get to the Dollar Store 3 seconds before me, please go get a life.
c) I hate puddles.
  • I have this amazing super power. I kid you not. It is amazing. Amazingly annoying! I manage to park next to a puddle, step into it without looking, and then go shopping with one soaking wet ankle every stinking time. I even manage to do this in the worst Texas drought in years. I do this at the grocery, at work, at the gas station, and probably when I make it to Mars, I'll do it there as well. Dear puddle, I used to love splashing in you in the alley behind 806 Main now you cause me squish my way through the market.

  • I also hate another kind of puddle. I call this the j-pud (read: juice puddle). This phenomenon occurs when the Monster has decided that he is done with his sippy cup. Depending on his level of tired one of two things occur. A) He chucks the sippy cup in some random direction that even the laws of physics cannot predict. There was one in curtains yesterday. It took me a solid 5 minutes to figure out why the floor and curtains were leaking an apple-ish scent. The other scenario is B) he shakes the sippy cup upside down as he walks to either the sink, the trash can, or the potty and throws it "in da twash".

I am sure if I try I can come up with some more things to complain about but I think ya'll's poor noggins are full of enough of my complaining. So, go forth avoid puddles, be super fabby rather than blah, and smack super rude people. Tell them K8 sent you.


Gina said...

and on that note I'm going to search MY house for any j-puds and the offending sippies and then do the dishes. Blah indeed.

Vincennes University Libraries said...

Remind me how we used to wonder why juice boxes had these plastic holders you could buy. Well, we wondered no more after giving little Sarina a juice box in the car and she immediately squeezed it and juice went a-flyin' all over us and the windshield, etc. Very funny to recall this! Thinking of you guys in Texas!

Elsa said...

My husband and I have been back and fourth with incomes. I've earned more, then he earned more. Honestly, it never crossed our minds that one of us "controlled" the money. It just goes into the same account and that's that. I guess that's how stay at home parents feel as well.

And trust me, there is no way your j-puddles are worse than mine. Oh my gosh!! Mimi takes a drink from her sippy (usually milk) and spits it on the table, the floor, the chair, the couch, her toys.... all of her toys have had juice or milk in them.... And if she gets a cup she fills it with water from the fridge and pours it here and there (and stirs it, and mixes it with stuff).

JCRHarris said...

LMAO! Sorry you are blah, but that was hysterical! I love you and I hope your blahs are over now :)