Saturday, June 4, 2011

Kinda Sad and Depressing

So, I haven't blogged in a good while.
Why?, you might ask.
I'll tell ya.

Let's start with my parents visiting and snitching my son for a month.
Now, I fully support and encouraged this kidnapping but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.
I miss him and often find myself sniffing his jim-jams.
And looking at baby pictures.
Next come the tears.
Followed by curling up into a ball in his toddler bed.
Yes. This has all happened.

Secondly, I have been facing some deep seeded issues that I prefer not to blast all over the world wide web just yet.
It ain't been easy folks to face the past sometimes.
It seems harder to face your family than it is to own up to yourself.

Next on my depressing item list is that this upcoming week holds the one year anniversary of the loss of my precious Grammie.
I keep reliving that moment. Or should I say moments? The whole thing seems to play out in my mind like varying snapshots.
I can't remember who told me she had died. I think it was Robert (my most favorite cousin) but I remember where I was and I remember that my heart fell to my toes and then shot back up to my tear ducts and I asked "why and what" about 20 times. And continued to cry for the next entire year. I'd like to say I am doing better but I highly doubt that.

Lastly, I am having massive migraines.
I had one last week and I had one yesterday...which I am still recovering from.
I have never experienced anything like this so if any of my lovely friends out there which to offer advice....please please...I'll listen.
I have a new found respect and consideration for those that suffer chronic migraines.
Dear Jesus! The world comes to a halt. There is no functioning.

I am done complaining for the weekend and will try and enjoy "no baby time".
And yes, he will be 18yo and still be called my baby.
D planted the cacti for Father's Day and enjoyed his roasted duck with cherry sauce.
And I mean, he enjoyed it! ( I secretly rock socks at cooking duck).
Yes, I am so humble.
Hopefully today I can do a little work and then head to the pool while D gets the truck up and running.
hint hint...notice the D gets the truck up and running part?
Shall I say it again?

Looking forward to June 25th and that 1500 mile drive back to Indiana and my sweet little Monster...oh yeah and my other family and friends.

Little Monster at Gaga and Papa's "bwolin bubbles!"


Bobbi said...

I have been suffering from migraines and headaches for a few years now. I've tried several different treatment therapies. The current one seems to be working pretty well. I take a tricyclic antidepressant every night to prevent headaches- apparently they're used for that. This greatly reduced the frequency of the migraines. I have Fioricet to take when I have a migraine and that usually does the trick. If all else fails, I take a muscle relaxer, which knocks me out- so I only take it if it's really bad. These are all prescription meds, but it gives you a starting point for discussing the issue with your doctor.

Kate said...

Thank you! I wrote those down. I have an appt with a DR on the 14th.

Harris Family said...

Also look into taking a daily migraine preventitive and have your hormone levels checked. That can throw your body completely out of whack. I have a friend who has suffered from chronic migraines since she was 4. You can also look into accupuncture and chiropractors. Those are more "natural remedies"

And I'm sorry you're missing O and Grammie so much at the same time, that's got to be sooo hard.

But yes, try to enjoy it. I'll send you my Monster for a month if you want! :)

Love ya!