Sunday, January 8, 2012

Food Help

I need some serious advice.

I've googled, talked to other Mom's, talked to my Midwife, my friends, and I think I even sold my soul to someone with horns for a solution to the problems occurring with the walls of 3 Forks.
The Monster WILL NOT EAT. He is slowly narrowing down what he'll eat. I spent hours today making the only fruit he'll eat (banana and applesauce muffins) and by the end of me forcing him to sit at the table and at saying "AT LEAST try a bit" we were both covered in muffin and yelling at each other. This was followed by a huge tantrum, and a time-out where he wouldn't sit, and then he screamed "stop hitting me" and stormed upstairs to his room.

This happens at every food meal unless it is:

plain bread
chicken nugget
ONLY the Sm#uckers BLUE packaged fruit snacks
(of course there are the cheetos and oreos at Gaga and Papa's house)

He won't eat anything that is sticky, gooey, hot, requires a utensil, runny, or soft. He won't even eat donuts or french fries.

I am gone from the house for every single meal that the Monster eats.
But I've been off work for past month so have seen just how truly terribly he is. He bites, pulls out his own hair, hits, screams and screams and screams.

Today I attempted to make him potty. I forced him to sit there for 20 minutes screaming before he finally went. I made a big deal about it.. ya know... "GOOD job Oliver! I am so proud! Now, do you want a treat for doing such a great big kid thing?" ... and he seriously smacked me across the face. So hard that my cheek was bright red.

We're about to enroll him in pre-school and we have our first visit in a few weeks (this is another story altogether. Let's just say there is no room in our budget for an added 400 a month. I mean really 800 a month for preschool!!! Just because both parents are employed. If I didn't work he'd go for FREE)! I digress...
I would feel TERRIBLE sending that child to spend anytime with other people.
I've had friends even volunteer to watch him so I can go to the Doctors and I am too ashamed to take up the offer. D thinks I have babied him too much and just always given him his way. Maybe he is right. I am not his primary caregiver or his primary role model. We've had 4 different sitters and everyone of them (except Cedes-Cedes who had him until 2yo) have said that he just doesn't eat.

I don't know. This is rough time at 3 Forks....between my migraines, O's behavior, and me being jobless for a month 2012 isn't looking like so much fun.
The worst part?
I gave up drinking to save money and to see if that helped my health and fertility issues.
So instead of collapsing on the couch with a nice Cab I get ice water.

But seriously, If anyone has any other advice I am open to it.
So far I have tried the following:

- repeat the same food over and over and over (this is a problem for us $ seems very wasteful) but I tried peas with butter 3X in one week and he just sits there are says "I no like it". So, he went to bed with no food.

- Leading into- we have also tried the let him wait it out until he finally eats whatever you have. Also, have tried this several times. He either tantrums himself to sleep or he just doesn't eat.

-Eat when he eats, as in, lead by example. This doesn't work because I pick him up at 6:30-7pm, get home, tubby, read a book, and he's out. D gets home around 9pm.

I am going to try one more thing. I hate to do this because we already water down his juice and milk drastically for $ reasons but I think I am going to limit him to pre-measured 6oz of juice and 12oz of milk per day and tell Nanny that "when it's out. It's out". Maybe that will get him to eat. Who knows!

Thanks for listening.


Charlie said...

The best advice I've heard is that as long as he's growing, don't worry about it. The kid's palate will expand. It's not worth the stress to worry about it. Give the kid the nuggets and enjoy a quiet dinner time.

Bobbi said...

I'm just going to reiterate what others have already said. As long as he's growing, don't worry about it. You can always get some gummy vitamins to ease your mind a bit. I've always tried to gently encourage Meike to try new foods, but I definitely pressure her at times to "get the job done." For the most part it's not an issue. I've found that, for those times that there IS an issue, the bigger deal I make out of it, the bigger deal it becomes. I'm all about natural consequences. If she doesn't want to eat, she's just going to be hungry later. If she tries a food and honestly doesn't like it, I will go ahead and give her something else. I won't cook her a separate meal, but I'll give her yogurt or fruit or something pre-made.

Erin O. said...

Are you worried about what he eats because of the nutrition? It seems like what he is eating is ok. When I was a kid, I hated veggies and fruits too. (And now I am a vegetarian and love them!) I am sure he will grow out of this. I know it is hard on you (especially with all of the amazing food you cook), but one day it will change. As long as he is healthy, just keep him eating "his" food.

Anonymous said...

Oh, girl! We're going through the same thing w/ Punkin. He's almost two, but he seems to be very picky. Unless it's Mexican food, I cannot count on him eating anything.

My best advice (and our doctor's to us!) is to try and fix healthy things he will eat. Eating veggies and other healthy things is a learned behavior. If he doesnt' like what we fix, then that's it. We don't offer anything else - not even his nightly milk. He's doing much better and he'll at least try most stuff. If all else fails, I put BBQ sauce on anything and he'll eat it.

Also, Punkin rarely gets sugar. Other people in our family know that they better not give him any sugar whatsoever. We'll make exceptions like an occasional ice cream, but he absolutely loves animal crackers ("tookies"), so those are a real treat for him.

I always offer lots of praise to him and tell him that he's a good boy for eating dinner. We don't require that he make a "happy" (clean) plate, but he at least has to eat some of the main course so that he can have the next part, such as yogurt, a banana, or applesauce. THEN we get "tookies". :)

Mama Melch said...

This too shall pass darling! For $800/month I would NOT feel bad about the preschool dealing with ANY behavior issues!! They've seen it all before.